Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Daily Digest August 22, 2012 030


The DAILY DIGEST: INFORMATION and OPINION from ST. JOHN'S to VICTORIA.
ARCHIVED at http://cdndailydigest.blogspot.com/

OPINION AND INFORMATION
_____CANADA

CANDU STRIKERS PICKET FLIRTY BOB'S OFFICE
First Nations must be partners, not afterthought

Not ready to have the World in the Arctic
Marketing campaign boosted oilsands image in key markets: poll

Lost trade with U.S. prompts Canada to seek other markets
John A. Macdonald wanted an 'Aryan' Canada

Equalization only promotes lazy spending habits
An education in equalization

Jim Flaherty to business leaders: Loosen your fists
The minority scenario: how might it play out?

Charest is being unfairly demonized
Paradoxical Québécois ethnic and civic nationalisms

Quebec election campaign enters twilight zone
First Nations must be partners, not an afterthought

Ritz misses target in response to criticism
Mr. Harper's science problem

Ontario's Tories should hold their noses and pass McGuinty's imperfect teachers' contracts
Chris Alexander is confused

Supreme Court the next Quebec-Ottawa battleground
Amid backlash, PQ clarifies French requirement for public office run

NDP hammers home political points on anniversary of Layton's death
Chris Selley on Jack Layton: 'Imagine' we just 'Let It Be'

The Commons: The politics of faith
Whose NDP is it? Question still lingers one year after Layton's death

Political Ads from Conservatives and NDP Divide Voters in Canada
Can The NDP And Liberals Make Gains In Conservative Alberta?

Brian Topp: In Layton's shadow, what NDP has done right and wrong
Ibbitson: Can Mulcair's new approach complete Jack Layton's revolution?

New-look NDP not that different from the house that Jack built: poll
Tim Harper: A year after Jack Layton's death, the NDP remains aloft

Olivia Chow reflects on life without Jack
One year on, Canadians still in the dark about what killed Jack Layton

Corporate Canada doing too little to drive growth: Carney
Harper announces new national park in North

Quebec Liberals take lead over PQ after weekend leaders' debate: poll
Charest family tombstone among vandalized graves

Notes going to China, not public: Canadian reporter speaks out about split with Xinhua news agency
As Harper tours the North, funding for Arctic surveillance network dries up

In debate, Charest takes a hatchet to Legault's image and PQ past
Sparks could fly in TV debate between former PQ colleagues Marois and Legault

Parti Quebecois plan: Pass a French test to run for public office
Martyn Brown takes Premier Christy Clark to task

Elections Canada commissioner declines to hand over robocalls investigation data to Federal Court
Harper's desert ATV ride irks Yukoners

NDP to campaign against F-35 purchase in next election, fight is about democracy, says opposition MP
Canada's Involvement in the F-35 Unaffected – Purchase of Aircraft Progressing

Canada doesn't want Khadr back: Poll
Toews: Show me the Khadr tape

Canada's new immigration rules put premium on young people
Ottawa cuts to refugee health care almost costs man his vision

Feds dump environmental assessments of almost 500 projects in B.C.
Industry minister Paradis says digital innovation will drive growth in Canada

Interview: David Black spills the beans about proposed oil refinery
Lawyers try to put an end to Lori Douglas' sex inquiry

Union appeals $3.2-million advertising fine from Elections BC
B.C. doctor faces court for billing for private health-care services

Unruly passenger forces international flight to be diverted to Edmonton
Kelowna abolishes courtesy flag program after Right to Life asks to fly banner

Sex killers not who you think they are, researchers say
Government reviewing tax breaks for imports from China

TV therapy: Study finds watching reruns can be good for you
'National dream' of Northern development happening now: Harper (with video)

Election puts us front and centre in theatre of politics
Rolf Wiborg's Tough Love for Canada

MLAs Blow Chance to Help Us See BC's Next Forest Industry
A Park for Emery Barnes

AFN planning self-funded October education meeting
Americans near the Great Lakes are radically changing the sound of English

Warrior Nation, Canada's New Brand
U.S. chains reshape Canadian retail landscape

Top 10 Marketing Failures: Coke, Ford, Netflix
ENBRIDGE ALIENATING SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE INVESTORS

1. Deadbeat Quebec still mooching off Canada Watch the video.
2. Inconvenient news Watch the video.
3. Toronto school board and Islam Watch the video.
4 . Who opposes native rights?  Watch the video.

_____FOREIGN AFFAIRS

Why Revolt Is All We Have Left
Gaza Reacts to Egyptian Tunnel Closures

Civilian Deaths from US Drone Attacks Much Higher than Reported
False Flag Fires! The Rise of The Phoenix

After-Birth Abortion: Eugenicists Say Babies are a Parasitic Burden on Society
US Veterans Suffering From Head Trauma May Become Violent and Dangerous, Says DoD

Scientists Demonstrate Ability to Accurately Predict Movements Based on Mobile Phone Data
Researchers Develop New Pain-Free Ways to Make Sure You Are Vaccinated

Jacob Rothschild, John Paulson And George Soros Are All Betting That Financial Disaster Is Coming
Former Marine Indefinitely Detained In Psychiatric Ward Over 9/11 Facebook Posts

Cops Interrogate Family For Allowing Kids To Play Outside
After-Birth Abortion: Eugenicists Say Babies are a Parasitic Burden on Society

Amnesty International is US State Department Propaganda
AIPAC Wants War on Iran

Perfecting the ``Technowar``
Agent Orange: A Deadly Legacy

Russian ``Punkers`` Get 2 Years Jail for US State Department Stunt
Anti-Iranian Hysteria

Dangerous Anti-Iranian Warmongering
Latest UN Syria Report Compiled by Washington Think-Tanker

The Plight of Dr Saif Al Islam: How Many Muslims Can Really Claim to be Muslim?
Cuban Blockade: Cruel & Unusual

US Cities Going Bankrupt
The proxy war in Syria

Obama's warning to Syria on chemical arms draws criticism
Support an Interim Deal with Iran

Demand a Full Withdrawal from Afghanistan
Brazilian Court Demands Nestle Label GMO Ingredients

Egyptian official: Recent Sinai operation was fully coordinated with Israel
Syrian troops kill 8 in heavy shelling on Damascus

Israeli writers appeal to AG: Don't let Netanyahu strike Iran without a cabinet decision
Israeli and Palestinian children becoming more violent, study finds

Israeli archaeologist digs into Sobibor death camp in search of Nazi killing machines
U.S. Jewish organizations condemn recent attacks against Palestinians

State-sponsored harassment
Unprecedented megalomania on Iran

A good Jew hates Arabs
Dan Margalit | In Egypt, US fails to learn from its mistakes

Prof. Abraham Ben-Zvi | Afghanistan: Another American tragedy
David M. Weinberg | Kicking the Iranian can down the road

Israel demands 'complete adherence' to Egypt treaty
AEA tries again to access suspect Iranian nuke site

Iran unveils upgraded short-range missile, plans new air defense site
New evidence points to deficient police conduct in Arab lynching

Israeli archaeologist digs into Nazi death camp
Commentary: The Bipartisan Imperial Presidency; Education Spending Doesn't Deliver

Daily Podcast: Thomas Jefferson in His Own Time
Blog Highlight: The Real Swing Voters

Featured Media: Michael D. Tanner discusses privatizing Social Security on CNBC's Closing Bell w/ Maria Bartiromo
Netanyahu is Preparing his Nation for War. http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article32254.htm

War Fever As Seen From Iran http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article32262.htm
Chinese Media Chemical Weapons 'Excuse for US to Intervene in Syria' http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article32256.htm

Post-Qathafi Libya...Another Fine Mess, NATO http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article32260.htm
Tilling the Ground for the Seeds of Terrorism. http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article32261.htm

Don't Lose Sight of Why the US is Out to Get Julian Assange http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article32253.htm
Amnesty International is US State Department Propaganda http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article32257.htm

The "Antiwar" Logic of Phyllis Bennis Of War and Empire http ://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article32259.htm
Monster - America Video - Steppenwolf. http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article32255.htm

Why Are Americans So Confused?. http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article32258.htm
Death toll from Lebanon fighting climbs to 12: . http://is.gd/NrT6FV

Mikati: Save Lebanon from abyss: http://is.gd/c9eyIJ
Robert Fisk: Aleppo battle is over -- but snipers still seek targets: http://is.gd/jqbJJW

West incites Syrian opposition to fight - Moscow: http://rt.com/politics/west-syria-opposition-instigate-301/
Syrian troops battle rebels near Iraq border:. http://is.gd/mo45L0

Syria says preparing to finalize oil deal with Russia:  http://is.gd/jlbxhN
US kills another 4 people in Pakistan: http://news.outlookindia.com/items.aspx?artid=772774

Americans tune out Afghan war as fighting rages on:  http://is.gd/1LEXq7
Civilian Deaths from US Drone Attacks Much Higher than Reported :  http://is.gd/OXfchw

Iran decries Israel''s imminent attack on its nuclear facilities: http://www.kuna.net.kw/ArticleDetails.aspx?id=2258775&Language=en
Iran and Hezbollah issue warnings to Israel: http://is.gd/NXMA0w

Rabbi Ovadia Yosef briefed on Iran:  http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4270833,00.html
PA condemns Lieberman's call to oust Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas: http://is.gd/tiQSjI

The United Church of Canada boycott products from Israeli settlements : http://is.gd/ivxSBp
Yemen's Food Crisis: 10 Million Starving: http://is.gd/mFEd0V

'US not our daddy to punish us' - Ecuador FM: http://is.gd/esbB4H
Authorities gain power to collect Australians' internet records:  http://is.gd/3mrDOY

Fukushima fish carrying 258 times the 'safe' level of radiation: http://rt.com/news/fukushima-nuclear-radiation-fish-238/
Belize misses $23m interest payment as default looms: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-19330491

CBO warns of looming recession in the US:  http://is.gd/d41S5I
AT&T: Pay Me, Screw Net Neutrality:. http://is.gd/AiBl5n

A World of Hillbilly Heroin READ MORE
Akin Clarifies 'Legitimate Rape' Comments: Women Make 'False Claims' READ MORE

Ted Glick | Strategic Presidential Voting READ MORE
Gulf Seafood Deformities Alarm Scientists READ MORE

Drugging Children to Conform in School READ MORE
FOCUS: Juan Cole | Dear Rep. King: Meet a Pregnant Rape Victim READ MORE

FOCUS | NDAA Lawsuit a Struggle to Save the Constitution READ MORE
Credit to Small Enterprise: The Silent Crisis Read the Article

FOCUS: Monsanto Tries Biotech Brainwash With Kid's Book READ MORE
Ultra-compact Hiriko Fold to go on sale next year Source
Related posts: Pentagon reveals DARPA's creepiest spy robot yet Source
Related posts: Researchers Develop New Pain-Free Ways to Make Sure You Are Vaccinated Source
Related posts: US Veteran put in psych ward for 1 month over Facebook posts Source
Related posts: Man ruled innocent by US judge still in prison Surce
Related posts: Banks to push for account fees in the wave of Libor scandal Source
Related posts:
>>>>>>>>>>INFOS <<<<<<<<<<

MERCREDI 22 AOÛT 2012
[]

18h17 - Maire de Laval · Soupçonné d'avoir donné 10 000 $ au PQ
        Gilles Vaillancourt aurait donné 10 000 $ en argent comptant à un ex-collecteur de fonds du Parti québécois en 1994. Agence QMI
15h42 - Montréal · La sixième manifestation: «Pour une société juste»
        La sixième manifestation du 22 du mois a réuni plusieurs milliers de personnes mercredi, dans les rues de Montréal. Agence QMI
14h39 - Maîtrise du français · Le PQ rajuste le tir
        Cible de critiques acerbes depuis la sortie de Pauline Marois la veille, le PQ a été forcé mercredi de corriger le tir sur la nécessité         de connaître le français pour se présenter à un poste électif. Agence QMI
11h37 - Médecins de famille · Gaétan Barrette refusera de démissionner s'il échoue
        Gaétan Barrette refuse de s'engager à démissionner s'il devient ministre de la Santé et ne parvient pas à remplir sa promesse   d'offrir un médecin de famille à tous les Québécois. Agence QMI
10h10 - Sherbrooke · Charest à Sherbrooke
        Les sondages d'opinion placent Jean Charest deuxième dans Sherbrooke derrière le candidat péquiste Serge Cardin. Agence 
02h07 - Policiers · Guerre des retraites
        Montréal souhaite repousser l'âge du départ à la retraite des policiers. JDM
02h01 - Éloges de Jean Charest · Françoise David sourit
        «Il n'est pas tombé en amour avec moi du jour au lendemain, croyez-moi», plaisante Françoise David. JDM
[]
MARDI 21 AOÛT 2012
[]
22h46 - Face à face · Marois contre Legault : un divorce consommé
        Beaucoup d'eau a coulé sous les ponts en trois ans. Agence QMI
21h36 - Débat à TVA · Lutte à finir entre François Legault et Jean Charest
        Tel un match de hockey des années 70, les gants sont tombés rapidement lors du débat présenté à TVA entre François Legault à    Jean Charest. Agence QMI
20h16 - Jacques Duchesneau · La CAQ veut faire le ménage, malgré les allégations de financement illégal
        Jacques Duchesneau estime que les allégations de dons anonymes qui pèsent contre lui ne nuiront pas à son parti. Agence QMI
19h44 - Débat à TVA · Charest et Legault s'arracheront les fédéralistes nationalistes
        Jean Charest et François Legault discuteront de souveraineté, de promesses, d'intégrité et de fiabilité lors du deuxième débat  des chefs mardi soir sur les ondes de TVA. Agence QMI

BELOW(30)(30)(30)(30)(30)30)(30)(30)(30)(30)(30)30)(30)(30)(30)(30)(30)30)(30)(30)(30)(30)(30)(30)(30)(30)30)(30)(30)(30)(30)30)30)(30)(30)(30)(30)

ARE ACTIONS CONSISTENT WITH CRITICISMS?
Flaherty tells business leaders to loosen their fists
Corporate Canada doing too little to drive growth: Carney
Feds walk away from environmental assessments on almost 500 projects in BC

Reduction in corporation tax will only add to the stored wealth.
Reductions in environmental assessments benefit corporations.

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From: Beverley Smith
to Susan Booiman re French instruction

There is much merit to the logic of not spending money so people can learn French. It is true that out in White Rock you likely won't need it much.

And yet there are also students who say they won't need grade 12 math much, they won't in the real world really need to know the chemical formulas for photosynthesis or that nobody will ever ask them as they walk down the street what were the causes of world war two.

I see learning another language as useful partly to open students to the realization that some people actually do think and speak with other words.  Here in western Canada we may not fully register that but in Ottawa or Montreal it's a daily reality, and in some Vancouver suburbs even, other languages are the norm.  To clue in to others helps us understand them better, both literally and metaphorically.  To have to learn a second language makes us have to walk a mile in the shoes of immigrants to our country and might help us realize the huge hurdle involved and the isolation and ostracism of  not being able to respond to store clerks or 'get' jokes.

Requiring all civil servants to be bilingual, requiring all airport guards to know a second language may seem frivolous as an expense based on how little they'll really need it in some settings. But when it is needed, it is really needed. Misunderstandings if you can't get vital functions accomplished can be critical to life, in medical circles,to survival in police circles and to safe transport at airports  Maybe not everybody needs to speak French but someone on every shift should be able to.

If we don't have our students learn a second language, they risk becoming the stereotype Europeans may have of us, closed-minded, arrogant people who assume that anyone deep down can speak English if we yell it loudly enough.

As a K-12 teacher who specializes in French, I actually agree that there is no need to force kids to take French for twelve years, in western Canada. But I think that taking some courses in it is a very good idea for breaking down some barriers.

Beverley Smith

===================================
From: Joseph <joseph@commonground.ca>

Subject: Real Pilots Speak Out on September 11th Lies 911 - YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vc3EZMuerWY&feature=related

===================================
From: Rene Moreau <rene.a.moreau@gmail.com>
To: Joe Hueglin <joe.hueglin@bellnet.ca>


To Joe
From Rene Moreau

August 22, 2012

re; more of the same;

===================================
From: Rene Moreau <rene.a.moreau@gmail.com>

To Joe

re; Government, bad, but never mention the failings of those who would take the place of government?

   Yes, criticize government, especially a Harper government, but never, ever mention the obvious problems of letting the rich and corporate, run things, in place of government, by sheer force of money and unelected power?

   Around the world, the right wing are being told to criticize the current form of government, every-where, while the ultra-rich and the corporate-types set up Authorities, world-wide! We know from watching that these Authorities or quangos, (quasi autonomous non-governmental Organization), share 4 features,

1. Claim to be an agency of government, and have infiltrated government to place an act of parliament, or such, to legitimize them-selves.
2. Are taxpayer funded in most cases, but not all.
3. Are arms length from watching or regulation by government.
4. Are world wide, gaining power over those things  that are very important to mankind's existence and therefore profitable. Food, water, power, health, finances, education, offense and defense, etc.

  They have no citizenship, can't be charged with treason, have the rights and privileges of human beings, and only the responsibilities when mandated by government and that ain't happenin' much eh?

 If successful, mankind becomes CASH COWS, or serfs, again, and we've been there, done that.

 Do we want to repeat that after we learned to fight for and enjoy democracy?

 If so, you don't have to do ANYTHING, JUST RELAX, ENJOY LIFE, AND LET THE CORPORATE WORLD 'DO' FOR YOU!

 Maybe the term is to 'lobotimize ourselves, by in-action, or 'don't worry, be happy.'

        Rene Moreau (416-489-8347)

===================================
Subject: Letter to Editor re: Equalization only promotes lazy spending habits, John Robson, Wednesday, August 22
From: Larry Kazdan
To: Letters Editor

Re: Equalization only promotes lazy spending habits, John Robson, Wednesday, August 22
http://www.torontosun.com/2012/08/21/equalization-only-promotes-lazy-spending-habits-2
For the results of a currency area without an equalization program, look to the Eurozone with 50% youth unemployment in Spain, and riots in the streets in Greece. Some regions will never by as productive as others. If compensation for common policies is not accepted, the result may well be an economic implosion that takes everyone down. Is that what we want in Canada?

===================================
Subject: FW: Difference between Ontario and Alberta

This may be funny, but true............  [you could just as easily subsitute Brad Wall and Saskatchewan]

 ONTARIO
   The Premier of Ontario is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.

A coyote jumps out and attacks the Premier's dog, then bites the Premier.

The Premier starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi"
and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

   He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the province $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

  The Premier goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

  The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish and Game
conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

  The  Premier spends $50,000 in provincial funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

  The provincial legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat
rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

  The Premier's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack.

The province spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

  PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the province.

ALBERTA
   Premier Alison Redford is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A
coyote jumps out and attacks the dog.

   The Premier's security agent shoots the coyote and keeps
jogging. The Premier has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

  The crows eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why ONTARIO is broke and ALBERTA is not.

 ===================================
From: Rebecca Gingrich
_______
Subject: same scenario as before WWII
Crunch Time for Central Banks
Interest-Rates / Central Banks Aug 22, 2012 - 07:17 AM
http://www.marketoracle.co.uk/Article36145.html
_______
Subject: United Church of Canada marching with the hypocrites DD

Joe--I was shaking my head as I read this article. On what planet does this 'journalist' live??? He probably supports what we did in Libya and Syria?? I am proud of the UNofC for having the courage to stand against the evil that is being perpetrated right before our eyes with not one country having the courage to call it what it is--genocide. But we kill in other countries to supply 'humanitarian aid'? Or are Palestinians dispensable in the eyes of our controlled 'leaders'? I hope everyone gets behind this boycott. Money is the only thing these thieves understand.
becky
_______
Subject: finally a country with the courage to convict for hate crimes against Christianity
Pussy Riot - The Secret History
http://rense.com/general95/pussy.html
_______
Subject: the actions never change
Syrian False Flag Planned?
http://rense.com/general95/syrfalse.html

===================================
From: Robert Roehle
Subject: FW: Pat Atkinson in StarPhoenix: "Ritz misses target in response to criticism"
http://www.thestarphoenix.com/news/Ritz%2Bmisses%2Btarget%2Bresponse%2Bcriticism/7125584/story.html

===================================
From: Stephanie McDowell (Nanaimo B.C.)

_______
Subject: Origins of the Moon | Beyond Science | Science | Epoch Times

An interesting read.  fun speculation.
http://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=origins%20of%20the%20moon%20%7C%20beyond%20science%20%7C%20science%20%7C%20epoch%20times&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&sqi=2&ved=0CCcQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theepochtimes.com%2Fn2%2Fscience%2Forigins-of-the-moon-1136.html&ei=kJo1UO6EIcXj0QHtkIGIAQ&usg=AFQjCNHC0HboysiykRg1SyWhxtRqvkefuw
_______
Subject: history of colonial sabotage of Haiti/Canada's role: Jared Diamond Hasn't Done His Homework

None of Canada's political leaders care a whit about Haiti or Canada's immoral role in this country's affairs which has resulted in many deaths.
 
"Never mind that Haiti's political institutions have been deeply shaped by the U.S. occupation of 1915-34; or that its attempts at honest government were regularly subverted by the U.S., France, and Canada; or that those three countries scorned the rule of law when they manipulated the results of the U.S.-financed sham elections of 2010. "
 
On Haiti, Jared Diamond Hasn't Done His Homework
http://www.nacla.org/blog/2012/8/20/haiti-jared-diamond-hasnt-done-his-homework

_______
Subject:  Torture in Israeli Prisons 
http://truthtellers.org/alerts/tortureinisraeliprisons_reprint.html
_______
Subject: Planned war on Iran and the U.S. General who said No!/assassination attempt.
This will be an eye-opener for some.
 
"The carefully choreographed and very public attempt on the life of General Dempsey is a greeting card from the Adelson/Romney/Netanyahu camp."
http://www.presstv.ir/detail/2012/08/22/257558/iran-war-and-the-general-who-said-no/
_______
Subject:    Post-Qathafi Libya...another fine mess, NATO    

The tragedy for Canadians about what happened to Libya was that NOT ONE of Canada's political leaders spoke out against Canada's participation in the bombing and destruction of Libya.  Not ONE !
 
I suppose these so called leaders  will be the same when Canada joins the U.S. in bombing Syria and destroying  that country too.   Our media made all of this possible by keeping Canadians uninformed.   All participated in war crimes.
I hope  there really is such a thing as Karmic debt.  
  http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article32260.htm

===================================
From: Rebecca Gingrich
Subject: Toews Exit Could Allow Internet Surveillance Bill Restart DD

Joe--typical of Cannibal Harper's government--take any chance to reintroduce a Bill that they know no one wants.
They are going to play with words to make it 'acceptable' and probably shove it through without any notice to the people.
Made me remember the play on words in the article below.

becky

Subject: Signs

Did I read that sign right?

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG
AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ,
THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.
(PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
**********************************************************
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day..
I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya think?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------------------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
----------------------------------------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
----------------------------------------------------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
----------------------------------------------------------------
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain;
Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
----------------------------------------------------------
Man Struck By Lightning:Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
----------------------------------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
-----------------------------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
---------------- ---------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
****************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
***************************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
*******************************************
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery;
Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
***************************************************
Now that you've smiled at least once,
it's your turn to spread the stupidity
and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle).
We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!

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